Give me my song back
<Pirate 1> lol
<Pirate 1> I download something from Napster
<Pirate 1> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<Pirate 1> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<Pirate 2> "getting my song back fucker"
25/12-2011 i Need to know basis | Kommentarer (0)

Scientist vs. Intelligent Design debate

Moderator: We're here today to debate the hot new topic, evolution versus Intelligent Des---

(Scientist pulls out baseball bat.)

Moderator: Hey, what are you doing?

(Scientist breaks Intelligent Design advocate's kneecap.)


Scientist: Perhaps it only appears that I broke your kneecap. Certainly, all the evidence points to the hypothesis I broke your kneecap. For example, your kneecap is broken; it appears to be a fresh wound; and I am holding a baseball bat, which is spattered with your blood. However, a mere preponderance of evidence doesn't mean anything. Perhaps your kneecap was designed that way. Certainly, there are some features of the current situation that are inexplicable according to the "naturalistic" explanation you have just advanced, such as the exact contours of the excruciating pain that you are experiencing right now.

Intelligent Design advocate: AAAAH! THE PAIN!

Scientist: Frankly, I personally find it completely implausible that the random actions of a scientist such as myself could cause pain of this particular kind. I have no precise explanation for why I find this hypothesis implausible --- it just is. Your knee must have been designed that way!

Intelligent Design advocate: YOU BASTARD! YOU KNOW YOU DID IT!

Scientist: I surely do not. How can we know anything for certain? Frankly, I think we should expose people to all points of view. Furthermore, you should really re-examine whether your hypothesis is scientific at all: the breaking of your kneecap happened in the past, so we can't rewind and run it over again, like a laboratory experiment. Even if we could, it wouldn't prove that I broke your kneecap the previous time. Plus, let's not even get into the fact that the entire universe might have just popped into existence right before I said this sentence, with all the evidence of my alleged kneecap-breaking already pre-formed.

Intelligent Design advocate: That's a load of bullshit sophistry! Get me a doctor and a lawyer, not necessarily in that order, and we'll see how that plays in court!

Scientist (turning to audience): And so we see, ladies and gentlemen, when push comes to shove, advocates of Intelligent Design do not actually believe any of the arguments that they profess to believe. When it comes to matters that hit home, they prefer evidence, the scientific method, testable hypotheses, and naturalistic explanations. In fact, they strongly privilege naturalistic explanations over supernatural hocus-pocus or metaphysical wankery. It is only within the reality-distortion field of their ideological crusade that they give credence to the flimsy, ridiculous arguments which we so commonly see on display. I must confess, it kind of felt good, for once, to be the one spouting free-form bullshit; it's so terribly easy and relaxing, compared to marshaling rigorous arguments backed up by empirical evidence. But I fear that if I were to continue, then it would be habit-forming, and bad for my soul. Therefore, I bid you adieu.
20/11-2011 i Religion | Kommentarer (0)

Der findes 3 slags mennesker
Dem der kan tælle - og dem der ikke kan...
10/08-2009 i So true | Kommentarer (0)

To mænd på en bar, og en blondine på en bærbar
Hans og Bjarne sidder i en bar og får sig en øl, mens de snakker om damer.

Hans fortæller: Her den anden dag havde jeg den lækreste blondine med hjem. Hun havde de største bryster jeg nogensinde har set. Så var hun helt vild i varmen, og ville have den helt store tur. Så jeg tager om hende og løfter hende op på køkkenbordet ved siden af min nye bærbar, og flår trøjen af hende...

Bjarne afbryder ham: Hey, har du fået ny bærbar!?
01/08-2009 i Stupid | Kommentarer (0)

You are in a helicopter
A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's navigation and communications equipment. Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to get back to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it, the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading "WHERE AM I?" and hold it up for the building's occupants to see.

People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the Microsoft support building, they gave me a technically correct but entirely useless answer."
31/07-2009 i So true | Kommentarer (0)

2 kg Windows tak
Dette skulle være en sand historie fra en kursusleder.

En gruppe ældre kursister er ved at tage PC-kørekort og kursuslederen vil forklare dem fordelen ved at købe en bærbar frem for en stationær. Han nævner bl.a. at den er praktisk da den ikke vejer mere end 3-4 kg.
En kursist, en ældre mand, rækker hånden op og siger højt: Ja ja, det lyder jo meget godt. Men hvad vejer den så når alle programmerne er lagt ind?

Nogle gange må man bare elske deres logiske tankegang.
26/07-2009 i Stupid | Kommentarer (0)

Der findes 10 slags mennesker
Dem der forstår binært - og dem der ikke gør...
24/07-2009 i So true | Kommentarer (1)

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